I haven’t been around…again.

But I am here to say that life does indeed get better. Life will not always be sunshine, rainbows and roses. Life is hard. Life is rough. Life tears you down. Life beats you down. It makes you cry.

But then the sun does in fact come back out. For the first time in a very long time I feel alive. I can’t blame the weather, I honestly hate when it starts to get warm, my allergies act up, the humidity comes back. But for some reason lately (even with bad times) I see a light at the end of the tunnel, excuse the cliche.

In July I am going to Belgium to see my family again. It wasn’t something I planned on. It just kind of happened. My mom will be spending a month or two there and I figured that I have never traveled internationally with my mom, what better time? In talking with my brother and his wife we decided we should take her to Italy while we are over there. She is currently obsessed with Italy for some reason. Actually, you know, I know the reasons but I won’t divulge them here. But it makes me happy she has something to look forward to. I haven’t yet been to Italy. It will only be for a few days and we’ll be going to the Tuscany region of Italy. That is a nice distraction.

I turned 30 a few weeks ago. No, I don’t feel old and no, I don’t feel any different. But turning 30 does make you reflect on a few things. Mainly just life and all that goes along with it. For the past year I have been toying with the idea of going to school for a degree that I honestly was not passionate about. All I saw when I thought about it was ‘work from home, make money’. While making money is a great idea (ha!) and working from home sounds fun too, it wasn’t my passion. I had no tie to it, no real desire. It took me applying into 3 schools (and being accepted to one) to realize…eh, I don’t want this. Our condo will be paid off in 6 years. We are putting a lot of work into it…for our enjoyment. We decided for the time being to stay. Its nice to know that by the time I am 37 I won’t have to work 40 hours a week, with a 30 minute commute each way. Our bills will be nearly nonexistent. And that maybe in 7 years or so we can finally fulfill our dreams. Working part-time and traveling. New Zealand for 3 months? Sure! Paris for a month? Why not? In 7 years who knows what our life will be like but its a nice goal to set. To know that eventually we won’t be in the 9-5 grind. You want to know my dream? To work in a bookstore or library. I can’t afford to quit my job now, and work at a job paying way less. But maybe eventually with the bills are a thing of the past.

For my birthday Angie bought me something amazing. Ever heard of Etsy? If you haven’t, you should go on that website. But she got me a subscription for “The Paris Letters Project” for 6 months. I get a letter each month with a painting of Paris. So far I have received 3 and I couldn’t be happier. Yes, sometimes it makes me sad that I am not in Paris. But at least I am getting news about it, from somebody living there and experiencing the life I (eventually) want. I received this today and nearly broke down in tears. But it made my day.

lfp3

I will be blogging more. I promise. It makes me feel better, I just wish I could remember that! I am cooking more and baking more too so be prepared for some YUMMY and delectable desserts. I bought a book on Macaroons last week—I can’t wait to try my hand at those.

 

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